Rite of Passage
A ceremony to celebrate the most important time in a boy/mans
It is an official rite of passage given to a boy becoming a man.
In its simplest form it is a celebration to mark the closure of childhood and the new passage into adulthood.
As a Christian, this day is celebrated by praying a blessing over the young man`s life.
For a Mighty Man it is the handing over of a ceremonial sword as a symbol
of his son becoming a man.
Releasing God`s power into his life to empower him to prosper, do well and flourish.
The rite of Passage is not just a once in a lifetime event. The impact of it will have a long term effect on the young man`s life specially as a Christian.
It is such an important milestone and joyous occasion and should ultimately be celebrated together as a family.
It is an official recognition by a man (preferably the father) of the boy becoming a man and that in itself will have an amazing effect on his life.
It frees him from having to read constantly 'between the lines'.
From his friend's obscure comments about his masculinity, etc.
Instead that question is settled with the official rite-of-passage.
He is then free to relate to friends in a more confident way.
There is no ‘right’ age for giving the rite of passage but it should be at a point when a young man can differentiate between right and wrong and can be held accountable for his actions.
During this ceremony, it is important
for the boy to know that:
· God, before the world was created, had planned for his life.
· He was no surprise or accident.
· He is on this earth with a purpose from God which only he can fulfill.
· God made him perfect - God doesn't make mistakes.
those around him, see him as a man from that day forward and will no longer
treat him as a child.
Rights and Responsibilities
Characteristics of a real man
The young man is considered old enough
to have certain rights and responsibilities.
Ethical Responsibility: he has reached the age of moral and ethical
Christian Services: Serve the Lord according to the Bible
He rejects Passivity (sluggishness, inactivity, laziness)
Adult males have a natural tendency to avoid social responsibility.
Real men reject being passive in the areas they have responsibility in.
Accepts responsibility (obligation, loyalty)
Jesus had the responsibility to do God's will while on earth.
That responsibility defined Jesus as a man and He pursued the
responsibility as a source of great satisfaction.
The responsibility of every man is:
i) To obey God's will (as revealed in the scriptures)
ii) To do his work (at home, at his job, in the church and the community)
iii) To love his wife (if he is married)
Leads courageously (brave, fearless)
Real men lead rather than follow. They do not ignore their principles in order to yield to the emotions and feelings of the moment.
Leadership demands that men must have the courage to master their passions and control them with the principles of truth revealed in God's word.
Expects a greater reward
Life is not just work day after day. The anticipation of later joy kept Jesus obedient to God's will for Him on earth.
Real manhood is liberating and a call to life.
It is also a means of great reward here on earth and afterward in heaven.
Becoming "A Man"
What the Bible says
biological changes from boy to man happen without any input.
This ceremony is often used to mark those changes.
The character traits of a real man, however, must be learned:
You are already a man if you have reached puberty!
Your body may still have some growing to do, but the biological days of being in a child`s body are over!
There doesn`t appear to be the concept of ‘teenager’ in the bible.
"about his father's (God's) business" when he was 12 years old.
We could read into this that God didn't worry about Jesus' immature body while asking him to do things only a 'man' would do.
(In this case teaching in the temple!)
King David received a visitation from God when he was a youth - indicating his body was not fully matured and yet God treated him as a man rather than a boy. David went on to overthrow his nation's enemy (Goliath and his army) while he was still quite young. A boy in fact.
completely matured physical body is not required in order to be classed as a
The body will continue to change from the first sign of puberty until death in old age!
that you are a male and you have reached puberty means you are no longer a boy
in God's eyes!
The consequences of accepting this fact are life changing:
· You don't have to do anything to become a man - you already are a man!
· You don't have to do anything to prove you are a man - you already are a man!
· You don't have to believe others who label you as less than a man - you are a man and that can't be changed!
you can do will make you more of a man - you are a man and God made you
perfect as you are!
Why is interaction so important?
Masculinity is an
essence that is hard to articulate but something that a boy naturally craves as
he craves food and water.
It is something passed between men.
When a father and son spend long hours together, we could say that a substance almost like food passes from the older body to the younger.
That is why boys love to wrestle. They love the physical contact, to brush against his dads cheek, feel the sandpaper of his whiskers, the dad`s strength all around them and to test their strength against.
And it is this testing that is so essential.
Ancient societies believed that a boy becomes a man....only through the active intervention of the older men.
The father or another man must actively intervene and the mother must let go. She needs to understand that she has another role to fulfil in her sons life.
Sometimes when the
mother clings, the boy will try to tear himself away, violently if need to.
She naturally feels rejected and he feels guilty but he knows he must get away. Whatever the mother's shortfalls, it can all be overcome by the father's active engagement.
When the father-son relationship is right, the quiet tree of masculine strength within the father protects and nurtures the fragile stripling of masculinity within his son.
If it is not happening, you
might have to put some effort in to get that rite-of-passage affirmation from
the/a significant man in your life.
In the Bible a guy called Jacob went to great lengths to secure the blessing from his father. That blessing enabled him to prosper, where his brother who did not have that blessing, went no-where!
Words carry power! (See Genesis chapters 27 and 28)
A rite-of-passage is a tangible
way to formalize your love and belief in your son.
A father`s love is the key to help his son feeling motivated and to believe in himself, that being a good man is something to strive for.
Rite of passage letter from a dad:
(this letter can be hand written and handed over to your son at the ceremony)
I want to make it official that I accept you as 100% male and I recognize you as a man.
You are not a boy in my eyes anymore!
To help remember this transition and make it memorable, I have organized
this small ceremony to remember this most important day.
It is an attitude thing - God
made you a male and he doesn't make mistakes. He made you just like you are and
you don’t have to do anything anymore to become that man!
Nothing you do will make you more of a man.
Nothing you can do will make you less of a man.
Physically you are definitely
no longer a boy and you are absolutely not a girl, so physically you must be a
Your body might still have some changing to do but body changes will be happening up until the day you die!
Do you need to have reached your maximum physical strength before you are called a man?
I don't think so because David in the Bible was still a teenager when God used him to deliver Israel.
God expected man stuff from him and David delivered without effort or stress.
God used all the negative circumstances to train him and get him ready to do the big stuff later.
God treated David as he would any fully matured man but he was not physically fully matured yet according to the Bible.
It is important to accept this view of yourself despite how you might feel because otherwise every one of us guys gets locked into trying to prove to ourselves that we are worthy to be called a man - and like other stuff it can become a lifetime quest that is never satisfied.
You are a man and that is that!
If someone tries to put you down or tries to make you feel less than a man then don't worry about it - be confident that nothing they say changes the fact - you are a man and totally acceptable the way you are. God made you a man and it doesn't matter what is said or how we feel, the fact remains - you are a man (case closed)!
I want to say it again - in my
eyes you are totally accepted as a male and not only that, I fully recognize
you as a man.
I see you as a fine young man that I am proud to be associated with.
The Future – the sky is the limit!
God has a
future already planned for you. I understand it has to do with slaying a
Goliath or something like that!
You are at the threshold of a long and blessed life of greatness in impacting peoples' lives. Don't sell yourself short over the next couple of crucial years - there will be plenty of opportunities to settle for second best - instead keep pushing into God and ask Him to show you the paths he has for you.
You are destined for great things in God.
Like so many in the Bible when they were young – it is difficult to see how God could possibly use us for anything, but things change.
Being willing is the important ingredient.
Who you are to me
consider myself blessed that our life paths have crossed!
One of the things I really like about you is you are not afraid to show friendship – I know I mean something to you because of the way you relate to me.
A bit of inside information here on relationships.
People have different ways of receiving and giving love.
There are five “love languages”.
words of affirmation;
quality time together;
acts of serving others;
There is no right or wrong about which of these languages means the most to a particular person. We are all made the way we are and all respond differently to these areas. Keep this in mind and when you find the other person's main “love language”, the relationship goes much better!
The Father`s Blessing
that God will bless you and that you will always be at peace within yourself. I
pray too that you will always be protected and that you will prosper
physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually and in your
I claim for you the gift from God of the ability to enjoy the work of your hands and that at the end of your days you will look back with great satisfaction at the life you have lived and the great things God has done through you.
God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind!
great being a man.
Welcome to the world of men!!!